


The Hurt in Your Eyes

by Hamon_Frog



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Jasper Redemption (Steven Universe), Mentions of past abuse, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamon_Frog/pseuds/Hamon_Frog
Summary: As much as Lapis despises Jasper, she knows she can't just let her drown herself in sorrow. She takes care of her... even if her efforts aren't appreciated.
Relationships: Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)
Kudos: 8





	The Hurt in Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This was made on the idea of, 'what if Jasper learning about what truly happened to Pink Diamond caused her to collapse into a deep depression?' and kinda evolved into ship indulgence. The story has some canon alterations such as gems needing to eat and drink, etc.

Jasper was covered by blankets, her bed littered with tissues. Her face was drenched with tears and her eyes sunken, stripped of their life and passion. Lapis had hardly recognized her when she first saw the scene. She had yet to know what caused this reaction, but she knew the feeling. As much as she despised the girl that was crying in front of her, there was nothing she would wish less than for someone to experience this amount of hopelessness. It was obvious to Lapis, she could tell how distraught the woman was just through how she handled her body, there wasn't an urgency to Jasper's movements, they were limp, her eyes could barely focus on the person in front of her, and she was actually crying in front of someone. In all the time that she had known her, Jasper had never once shed a tear in front of anyone.

Lapis pursed her lips, she wanted to turn around and leave, it would be easier than dealing with Jasper, she could just wait a few weeks... or more likely, months for this to all blow over. Her body wouldn't let her, instead, one foot moved in front of the other into the bedroom until she found herself sitting on the floor, watching the girl intently. She wasn’t sure if it was fear of what Jasper may do in her distress or rather an absurd amazement. In response the girl turned away and pulled up her pillow over her head. Jasper hardly wanted pity in this moment, she wanted to be left alone for the next century, until it stopped hurting. Lapis sighed at the defensiveness, but continued to stay, listening to muffled sobs until they became a soft snore. Lapis silently snuck away, being extra careful as to ensure the door closed gently.

Lapis had waited a few days before her return. The sound of Jasper’s wailing sobs loomed through her thoughts even after days had passed, sending a shiver down her spine each time it rang through her ears. She was aching over the idea of hearing them again, as much as she might have once wished to hear them, the real sound was more gut wrenching then she had ever imagined. Lapis knew that there wouldn’t be anyone else there for Jasper, she knew the pain of loneliness, which is how she found herself once again, opening the door to Jasper’s bedroom. She had brought a glass of water this time, setting it gently on the bedside table. Lapis treated the room as if it were made of glass, being ever so delicate with each movement, as to not disturb the occupant. Lapis sat at the foot of the bed, feeling her heart rate increase at the courage she had found.

Jasper brought her legs closer to body as to keep away from where Lapis sat, but otherwise put up no fight to prevent what was happening, bringing some relief to Lapis. Throughout the rest of the evening, Lapis occasionally eyed the water to see if it had been touched while her focus drifted away from the happenings of the girl beside her, but it was exactly as she had left it. Lapis scowled, she knew the situation was bad, but Jasper refusing to even drink water made her begin to worry. She opened her mouth to speak, but she didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. She knew that one wrong word could send Jasper even deeper into her grief. She needed to think, leaving the bedroom to pace in the kitchen. She pondered on what was the right thing to do, she knew what helped herself when she was in this situation, but didn’t know what Jasper wanted or needed. Maybe it wasn’t even her problem to fix, well, Lapis knew it wasn’t, yet here she was. Lapis rubbed her temple and peeked through the crack she left in the doorway to see if Jasper had fallen asleep yet, but to her surprise, the water glass was empty.

Days passed where the two continued to sit in silence. Lapis would bring in glasses of water to make sure Jasper was staying hydrated. Eventually she started staying long enough that she would need to make dinner for herself, ensuring to make some for Jasper as well, though she rarely ate it, and when she did it was only a few scrap pieces. Lapis always took care to place the extras into the fridge for Jasper to hopefully find later.

As the days started to become weeks, Jasper began to give in. First, she started eating and drinking what she was given, even while Lapis sat in the room. Then her sobs calmed, becoming less frequent and weaker. The girl had finally started gaining some of her lost weight back, her body showing it’s flush, Jasper finally appeared to be more than just a living corpse. Not long after, she separated herself from the bed, her movements still clumsy and weak, but holding some semblance of motivation to them. Lapis had occasionally let herself into Jasper’s residence to find the occupant about in the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water, or searching through the fridge.

“You enjoying taking pity on me, Lazuli?” Jasper had finally decided to speak one night, startling Lapis with the forgotten thunder and power that she held in each word.

“I don’t, actually.” Lapis was gruff, she knew the accusations were going to come, and she had no intention of humouring them.

“I know you. There’s no other reason you would be here.” Despite everything, there was still a burning hatred behind Jasper’s eyes, a glaring fury that Lapis knew she may never be able to escape.

“Maybe you don’t know me.” Lapis’ voice lowered to a gentle breeze. Her past was an ever haunting shadow, but she had never been face to face with confronting it before. It scared her, every look at Jasper sent a shock of icy fear through her, but she knew that running away would mean throwing away everything that she worked for.

Jasper fell back into bed, hushed for now, prideful that after all this time she could still get a rise out of the smaller girl. Lapis only felt shame wash over her, she had hoped that she never would feel this amount of rage again. Only that brute could manage such a feat, she knew every weakness Lapis had. It’s what made Lapis fall in love with her, she had preferred the anger and hatred over the emptiness that previously resided in her. The spark of emotions between one another was a constant cycle, one that gave them a purpose beyond what was intended from their creation. Lapis thought she was nothing without Jasper. It took her far too long to comprehend how much happier she was without her, but even after all this time, everything that Lapis learned on her own, Jasper was just as spiteful as ever.

Despite what had happened, Lapis still returned. She was dreading that this day would be different, that instead of meeting Jasper at her bed as usual, she would find her leaning against the counter, a toothy grin showing the malicious intentions that hid inside her. She expected another insecurity to be picked at, another quip, or jab at her very being. Lapis came in ready to be torn down. But none of that was found, instead Jasper was bawling, which confused Lapis considering how well she had been composing herself lately. Lapis stepped with caution, cradling the door frame to gaze at Jasper.

“Why didn’t it work, Lazuli?” Jasper cocked her head towards the girl, tears still streaming down her face. Lapis should’ve known better, she had never once been able to sneak up on Jasper. “Whenever I got to you, pushed you into a corner and saw the fear and anger in your eyes, I felt strong... worthy. But not this time.”

Lapis looked at Jasper and for once didn’t see a burning passion to hurt, she saw genuine pain in the girl. She had lost everything, even what she perceived to be her own form of happiness. It was alluring to Lapis, she saw how far gone Jasper was, and she wanted to push her down even further into her personal abyss. There was nothing more that she wanted than to drain Jasper of every part of her being, but she knew it was wrong, she knew what it was like to need someone and have everyone else turn away. She crept closer to the bed, sitting just on the edge, right next to Jasper’s lap, somewhere she might have used to call comforting, but now she found herself paralyzed with anxiety.

“Maybe it means you care about me for once.” Sarcasm. Lapis’ defense mechanism, there was no stopping it now, she had lost control of her words in her panic.

“Yeah right. You think I’m a big softie like you?” The tears had slowed and Jasper was finally able to catch her breath. There was even the beginning of a grin forming at the corners of her lips.

“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve said to me.” The two of them laughed, the tension beginning to dissolve through their jokes of days gone by. Lapis took a moment to enjoy seeing Jasper with a joyous smile, even if she was covered in the stains of her tears and her eyes were dark and bloodshot, it had been so long since she last saw it.

“That’s not true. I’ve called you beautiful before.” Jasper teased with a snicker.

“Yeah… but I don’t know if you meant it.” The humour drained from Lapis’ voice, her head hung low as she stared into the crevices of the floor. Memories of the past flooded her mind, now without their rose tint making the sting even more vicious.

Jasper felt a tugging at her gut. She wasn’t sure what to do, seeing Lapis’ expression and how much pain she was suffering carved into Jasper’s heart. She had forgotten about everything else and now just wanted to fix this.

“Lapis, there’s one thing that I could never lie to you about, and that’s how you are the most beautiful gem I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Jasper spoke each word tenderly and full of love. Lapis glanced up, her eyes wet and unmoving as the two fell into a trance of one another’s gaze.

They found themselves pressed against each other, their lips against the others. The world fell away amidst their passion, they could only feel the fire of one another, burning brighter now because it was no longer fueled by a hatred, but by love and forgiveness. The seconds faded into what felt like hours, all their worries and pain evaporated as their arms fought to wrap around their bodies. Breaking away, the two were surprised with themselves but not upset. They were confused and hesitant, unsure of what to do next. Jasper cautiously held out a comforting hand, only for Lapis to bolt back into her arms. Their warmth spread from one another, their faces nearly touching. Jasper felt the heavy breaths hit her face, she hoped deep down that they weren’t from fear.

“I’m sorry, Lapis.” Jasper whispered, holding the girl close to her, determined to mend the pain she had once caused. Lapis nuzzled her head into the crook of Jasper’s shoulder, promising to herself that they would no longer fight.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Hiya! So, because of the nature of this ship I think it's worth mentioning that I only condone this ship when Jasper is willing to better herself in a meaningful way (rather than digging the even deeper hole that she did in Future) and when her and Lapis hold themselves accountable for their actions. This fic didn't delve in very deep because it was just a little fun thing, but I think the relationship between the two can be very nuanced and holds a lot of weight. I just think it's important to take some time to acknowledge inherently toxic ships, since toxic relationships are a very real thing, but also not to get carried away with them and end up idolizing these hurtful traits. Anyways sorry for the ramble, just wanted to make my intentions clear since I know this concept can easily come across the wrong way. Have a lovely day!


End file.
